I love it! The first Saturday in September...

Football! My Christmas! Football season starting up again. Today was the seasonal debut of the Irish and then tomorrow night the Season opener of the Colts vs the Bears at Lucas Oil Stadium. Its also fall cleaning day for me. I started just doing the laundry and by the end of the day I had cleaned the laundry room, foyer, downstairs bathroom, and living room. I cannot believe I got rid of 12 boxes and bags of junk. Stuff I didnt need anymore, stuff to remind me of my former life. As I was cleaning I asked myself, does it get any easier, like tonight I decided to find a way to put up some of my knickknacks and my Partylite things and I opened the box to my Susan Winget house -- I loved that house as well as the barn and the church and I loved to burn tealights in them and as I opened the box to the house, the house had been shattered. I dont know when it happened but it was so symbolic to me --my home is shattered. I stood there tears rolling down my face. I knew I had to throw it away but I didnt want to. It meant that I was going to own the complete set anymore just like my heart, it wasnt complete. This year has been so hard to get through so many twists and turns and changes and everything. As I looked down at the house in that box as shattered as my life is/was I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5,6--"Trust in Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all things RELY on HIM and He will DIRECT your paths." God has a plan for me and my boys, for this baby coming, for everything happening we just right now are going through the tough stuff, one day I am going to be able to look back on this and realize I was closer to the Lord today more than I have been in a long time. Yeah I cried when I opened that box but I didnt get angry God has a plan, God has taken the wicked out of my life and the more I let go is directing my paths. No my life isnt how I wanted it to be. When I said "Till death do us part" I meant it but I think the "death" has come and now I am ready for the next stage whatever that may be. It took looking at that house sitting there shattered in that box for me to realize that yes certain parts of my life are over much as I dont want them to be--but God has something better in store for me. I also was all ready to get rid of my dog didnt think she fit in our family, well this afternoon I went out and put out this tie out in the patio area and put her on it and she loved it! Loved hanging around the back yard when it was time for her to come back in tonight she just came in and laid next to me there was no jumping on me no rambuctiousness just her ready to cuddle with me and when I asked her to go to her kennel she didnt fight it she went right in there. I plan on putting her out again there tomorrow for a few hours and then maybe in the evenings during the week. She is such a good dog she just needed something more. I think we all need something more I am not saying being outside more or whatever but we all need faith and when we dont have that faith our lives are lacking something and we start seeking but usually in the wrong places --- I have friends that need God but they are looking outside themselves and outside God--I know you can only do that so long before it sneaks up on you. I have people in my life that dont know what they have until they throw it away. I see that every single day People who think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, believe me when I tell you it isnt -- I had a conversation with a friend this week from back home and she just couldnt believe all I had been through and she is like "what did you do to tick God off" she didnt understand that I had given everything to God and let go...what happened next was the result of "free will' and by the end of the conversation she understood I was trustng God for everything and surrendering it all has so blessed me and my boys beyond my expectations I now realize that Joel Osteen when he says to make plans, my home may be in the dumpsters but its all gonna work out