"Family" October 2009...not blood related well all of us anyway but related by love!

Life has been awesome!

Hello all! I know I am not on here as much as I have been in the past. Life is busy! Alison continues to grow and grow...We have gone 2 days without a bottle (no I am not starving her..lol) we have just transferred to a sippy cup since she now has 2 chompers on the bottom (her little weapons is what I call them) she has decided to chew the nipples on her bottles so I thought what a great idea and time to start her on the sippy! Yeah I know great mom skills..lol....She loves to play patty cake and I cant believe she is 9 months old now!

Dustin got all B's on his report card (big yay!) If he keeps this up he will be headed for student of the month at his school. His tuba playing is going well also and he had his 1st concert last week and I think I have some pictures that I will post on here soon as I get them published off my camera.

Matt continues in 1st grade. He is having some issues but we are working with him and he is getting better! Its amazing how having stability in his life is changing him. I cannot believe he is 7 years old now. I am seriously going to have to post some pics of him and the kids (they are already on my facebook)

As for me, I cant complain. Life is awesome. My divorce has taught me how to be a stronger more confident woman. It also allowed me to love again and I do love Rey with all my heart. I actually enjoy spending time with him...Halloween weekend we went back home with the kids and we had such an awesome time just kicking back with my family plus thanks to my ambitious sisters who took the kids trick or treating Rey and I got to spend the evening together..something that doesnt happen very often...that was the bomb for me. I am starting to enjoy shopping and makeup and getting my nails done...kind of sprucing up the outside package to match the inside. Its so funny..I see these beautiful women but in actuality they have very ugly insides and so they dont seem as beautiful. An example would be the show "Ugly Betty"....I admit the glasses and everything the outside isnt that pretty but her heart she just has this amazing heart that when she walks in she lights up a room...Its just like us we can spend hundreds of dollars on makeup and clothes and everything but if we have an ugly heart then it isnt going to matter.

God is a God of 2nd chances. I know I went through all the hell I went through because God had something better for me in the end...God had Rey a man who knows how to treat me like a woman and honor and love me and cherish me. I didnt understand how awesome 1st Corinthians 13 was until now. This love is awesome, its this true love...no wonder he makes my heart skip a beat when he walks in the door at night. I have never had love like this. In my marriage my exhusband was all about himself even now with his life its all about him. REALITY CHECK! Life doesnt work that way...no matter how much you think you are in control, no matter how manipulative you become to get what you want you will never get to your "mountaintop experience". The sad thing is that some people never learn that and its so sad when they come to the end of their lives and realize how many doors could have been opened how many opportunities could have been given if they had just taken their eyes off of them and put them onto God and others. I realized it thank God before it was too late and now I am enjoying my "mountaintop experience." For the first time in my life I am in love with the love of my life who calls me his "superwoman" I so love that. Loving him has made me want to be the best mom, girlfriend, sister, daughter,friend, and niece I can be. I took control with God's help and got rid of the drama and chaos in my life. Its so nice to be able to come home at night and make dinner and help with homework and keep up the house and the finances and take care of my family...yes ladies I dont stay home...I work full time and lately even more than full time. Yeah go ahead and bash me but this is my blog so I will say what I want to say and if you cant take it then you dont have to read it. I have survived cancer, divorce, reposession, and forclosure and I have done it and still managed to have a job and keep my family stable. I dont buy this garbage that a woman's job is to keep her home and family and she isnt to work outside the home..that to me is a line of bull. I hear so many women gripe because they have no money and they are struggling and here is the husband/father working 2 jobs and not taking care of himself or his health and worrying about his family 24/7, sorry ladies but you need to be out there too. blah blah blah the welfare system would be alot less crowded if they made women get out there and work..I know of someone who's husband worked 60 hrs a week at one job and 40 hrs at another so he could support his wife and 3 kids. One day a freak accident happened and he died leaving his widow with 3 kids and massive bills and boo hoo she had no skills so she couldnt work...she couldnt get any government assistance because with the kids social security she made too much...did she give up..nope she pulled up her bootstraps and got a job at McDonalds and went to school and now is a nurse and is remarried but working. Women need to be able to make a living for themselves and not depend on a man. After my divorce I could have wallowed, etc but I didnt I dove into my job dove into my family, found a church, joined divorcecare, got proactive with my life and getting proactive thanks to my awesome son allowed me to meet Rey and even now I dont live on him. He pays his bills and I pay mine but it is nice for the 1st time in my life to be saving money and getting to splurge once in awhile...it has put this awesome inner peace within me. And also by having that inner peace within me has helped me to give even more to others. And the doors Christ has opened are truly awesome!

Keeping up!!!

Okay ladies and gentlemen between work and school and keeping up with the antics of a 7 year old and 8 month old and 11 year old life around here has been pretty hectic!!! We are all settled in here (house should be coming around late spring) so for now its close quarters but we are getting through it. Matty got his 1st report card last week not the greatest needs improvement but we can work on that!!! Dustin is doing well in 6th grade and its funny because he is playing the tuba and the band teacher says he is a natural. Should be getting his report card soon but I bet it will be good like always.

Ali is all over the place now. She sits and crawls and has begun to not listen to me or Rey. She is a stubborn thing and into eveything. I have forgot what its like having a little one in the house but Alison is giving me a refresher course.

Matty is now a 1st Grader!

Yes today in the city of Indianapolis is the 1st day of school. Last night Matty was not excited as he had to go to bed early, and he even tried to get in bed with me he was so scared. This morning he put on his polo and khaki's and new tennis shoes and combed his black hair, and crabbed about tucking in his shirt (Rey explained to him that he has to do it and so he can and grabbed his fully packed backpack with his lunch money and headed to the van where mommy or Rey depending on who gets moving first will take him to the Y program and will pick him up in the afternoons. I cannot believe my Matty is a 1st grader, it seems like just yesterday we were walking through the doors of school onto the 1st day of kindergarten. There are pictures on my facebook and myspace of Matt ready to head out the door. Actually I cannot believe that in less than a month he will be 7 years old. Where does the time go?

I have come to find out....

That there are people reading my blog..lol....someone from a debate group used one of my posts as a dig to me the other day..yeah whatever! I am proud of who I am where I have come from and certainly where my life is going! Last Saturday night Vineyard CC did their whole service as a service of worship...the music the candlelight, the communion was so awesome! I am glad I am back home on the South Side of Indy where I belong! Not to say I didnt love the west side and the over 1 yr I spent up there and the people I met and Chapel Rock and Divorce Care--which really helped me heal and get over my divorce and helped heal the hurt and allowed my heart to learn to love again, but the South Side is home! I cant believe the way everything is falling into place with the childcare and the car insurance and just everything altogether God is so awesome! I have had a bad week, but today is Friday and Sunday is my birthday I will be 32 years old. I had some time to myself this week and so I was doing some thinking about how far I have come and this point right now in my life is my true "mountain top experience." Its like everything I have been waiting and praying for for so long is finally happening, the pieces are just falling into place. I have met the love of my life and we enjoy each other and enjoy the kids and thats something I never thought I would allow my heart to love again or to trust or to share and God is a God of 2nd chances. I have 3 of the most awesome kids! I cannot believe how far we have come with the discipline, it has so made life easier to remain consistent with the discipline, also I cannot believe how mature Dustin, my little baby has become. He is going to be in 6th grade this fall. Matty will be in 1st, he has come so far as well. He used to be very selfish, very demanding, very challenging, and its like the stubborness and the disobedience is gone...last night I took the van to the car wash and he wanted to sweep out the van, I didnt know he knew how to do that and so he did. He did an awesome job, he is getting so much better at listening to directions and helping when needed...so yay me and to mom and dad and aunt kris and aunt kelly a pat on our backs for working with him..to see the change in him is awesome! And then there is Alison, my little Ali, my princess and Rey's princess...It has been amazing to see her grow up I cant believe she will be six months old tomorrow! She is just the most happy, bubbly baby who is so easygoing and calm I cannot believe how easygoing and calm she is. My life in the last 3 years has come from anger and frustration and bitterness to joy, peace, happiness, and love..its amazing that every day I see God working in different things, the small things and I never used to notice that before. So go ahead throw your digs, I know who I am and where I am going and so far it has been an awesome "mountain top experience."

Life just keeps getting busier and busier!

Life just keeps getting busier and busier! I cannot believe its August already! Matty came home from an extended stay with nana and papa last Thursday, thanks to Chris and Dean for bringing him down here since they had to go to Amy's appointment at Riley, so it was perfect them bringing him down, its so nice to know that I have friends still up north despite everything that has happened. My family isnt by blood its by friendship, I think I need to make a sampler for the wall with that on it.

I am officially moved in down south. That said my drive this morning was 22 miles way different from the over 100 miles I was traveling to go from south to west and then back down south twice a day. It was so nice to get up at 6am rather than 445 and then not have to rush around and I still made it into the building at 730--so go me! I will be out of my apartment by August 31st, its weird having all my stuff in storage, but its so cool knowing that I am closing a chapter in my life and opening up a new one with a man who treats me and my kids like totally awesome.

As for the house thing its still in the works! I keep telling Rey that God has a plan for all of this, I am slowly getting him to understand where my faith is. This past Saturday night we went to church and he participated in communion and prayer time. Slowly but surely we are making progress, God is opening his eyes and even with the cluster headaches we are moving forward in so many things.

Well gotta jet, busy,busy summer, prayers are always welcome!

Life has been busy around here. Besides working 7 to 9 days at a time, we have been busy house hunting. Last week we went and looked at like 8 of them. I learned something in all of the house hunting...dont believe what you read about the houses or even the internet...go out and look at them. One house listed MINOR cosmetic damage. ..hello I dont think a skylight leaking causing water damage is minor, and then going down to the basement and seeing the ceiling hanging there is minor either. Another house we looked at emphasized it was family friendly... which it was not. First of all there was NO backyard and then the inside looked like it was straight out of the 50's including the very small rooms of the 50's. Beds were smaller back then, then they are now..this is definitely not the era of Ricky and Lucy I like my queen size bed and I like snuggling up with my honey at night. I could definitely not do the 2 twin beds in a room thing. Then with this house there was the garage. It was HUGE! Perfect for Rey and working on his cars but thats all there was to this house. So family friendly well if you plan on not seeing your honey for days at a time, then it was perfect..lol...

I found the house of my dreams. 4 bedrooms 2 1/2 baths pool, patio, garage, sandbox, deck it just had everything I was looking for. And then as I walked into the kitchen there on the radio under the counter..our song was playin..THEN by Brad Paisley. I was like eureka I found my house! We are going to look at a couple others but still at this moment its our top pick. As we walked through the house I could just imagine me and Rey and the kids living there. I have never had the opportunity to own a house and I cant wait. I see all these home improvement shows and I cant wait to dive into a house and make it our home, a reflection of our lives.

Its so funny its like all the pieces are there, now we just have to figure out how they will fit. Uggh I hate that part. I hate growing and changing. I wish there was a way we could just "be" or as my 11 year old says, just "chill". But God doesnt want us to chill, He wants us to grow and develop in Him. He is the vine, we are the branches.

Its 4-H fair time!

Ladies and gents its that time of year again..time for the St. Joseph County 4H fair! Its a little early this year, usually its in the last week of July- to the 1st week in August but because of the extension of the Indiana State Fair we had to move the fair to the weekend of the 4th-11th of July.

This is what Dustin got so far on his projects. He still has to show his guinea pig and his rabbits ...

Cats-- honors on his kitten and a blue on his female longhaired cat (callie)
Microwave Foods-- a blue on his Pumpkin carrot muffins
Consumer Dairy Foods--a champion on his butter cake (I admit it was very tasty..lol)
Foods-- a blue on his butterscotch cake (again, very tasty!)
Collections--an honors
Cat Notebook-- a champion on his book for Callie and a blue on his book for the kitten
Guinea Pig--Reserve Division Champion on the notebook, hasnt shown the guinea pig till wednesday of this coming week

Dustin is doing an outstanding job in his 4H career. Sometimes I wish his dad would get his head out of his butt and see that. He is missing out on so much and doesnt even care.

I got the chance to go up to fair on Thurs morning and stay till Saturday afternoon. Rey came up Saturday morning so I could leave my van with mom and dad to drive since I now have a new van. Rey and I bought me a 2003 Pontiac Montana and I love it, so we decided that since I didnt need my van anymore (it has 207,000 miles on it) that it would be perfect for mom and dad to drive, so I took it up there to "retire it" and then of course that meant that Rey would have to pick me up and bring me back to Indy, so Saturday morning he showed up at mom and dads and we all decided to go to fair for lunch and to ride a couple of rides. Kelly brought her friend Mark and his 4 year old daughter Ellie and so it was like this new generation of the Kukla Family. Mom and dad seemed so proud seeing Kelly with Mark and me with Rey. Now if Kris could get her life straightened out then it would be all good but who knows when that is going to happen. Anyways we all enjoyed lunch at the Coalbush UMC Pavillion and then went and looked at Dustin's exhibits in the exhibit building and then the kids got to go on 2 rides (my sister emphasized it like the late Billy Mays, she so sounded like an infomercial...lol)

This past weekend was Relay for Life held at Centennial Park in Plymouth, IN. I got the chance this year to be on my friend Penny's team affectionately called "Friends 4 Life" these ladies, well most of them have been my friends for years when I was up north I bowled with most of them. Anyways it was an honor to be up there as a survivor surrounded by family and friends and I have some awesome pictures which I will post later as soon as I figure how to work the darn camera and get the picture card to load on my POS computer.

The walk was from 6pm Saturday - 6 pm Sunday. This years goal was 60,000.00 and when we left (not all the money was accounted for) they had reached 51,000.00 so I am pretty sure they will make their goal and then some. Besides walking on the track each campsite sells something, or some of them have raffles. One booth made Elephant Ears for their fundraiser. Our campsite sold gatorade and freezie pops and baked goods. They also had a bubble lap where you walked the track for one lap blowing bubbles and a flag lap where you walked 1 lap waving an american flag. Our team especially loved the events in addition to the walk. We had a Mr. Relay where a man dresses up as a woman for money, our Mr. Relay was an older "woman" when I get the pix posted then you can see what I was talking about. This is also the 1st year I have done this walk that I did not fall asleep and stayed up the whole night (I was exhausted the next morning) I never thought at 2am I would be doing the train all around the track and at 230 the macarena and the chicken, but I was.

Its funny but that walk was very special to me. There is a sense of pride in being a survivor and its very touching. I cannot wait till next year to do it all over again!

Day 4-- Made to Last forever-- Purpose Driven Life

Okay well I am heading onto Day 4. I have been doing alot of thinking on Day 3 and the whole what drives you thing so I delayed doing Day 4 till now.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-- "God has...planted eternity in the human heart."

"Surely God would not have created such a being as man to exist for only a day! No, No man was made for immortality." Abraham Lincoln

This life is not all there is. Life on Earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production.

"The closer you live to God, the smaller everything appears."

Measured against eternity our time on Earth is just a blink of an eye, but the consequences of it will last forever. The deeds of this life are the destiny of the next.

Wow thats about how I feel...I took Alison to the pool for the first time (you can see pics of her in her swimsuit in the previous posting), and she enjoyed it. She loved putting her legs in the water and splashing a little with her hand, it was like the water had a calming effect on her because when we got back from the pool it was all I could do to get her diaper changed and her thumb went in her mouth and she was out. I couldnt resist snapping this picture, isnt she adorable?

Part 2....A Picture is worth a thousand words....Summer 2009

What drives your life-- Day 3 Purpose-Driven Life

Ecclesiastes 4:4--"I observed that the basic motive for success is the driving force of envy and jealousy!"

"The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder- a waif, a nothing, a no man." Thomas Carlyle

Everyones life is driven by something. What is the driving force in your life? There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive your life. There are 5 common ones:

1) Many people are driven by guilt. Guilt are manipulated by memories. They allow the past to control their future. They punish themselves by sabotaging their own success. Lots of people let that allow them to wander through life without a purpose. We are products of our past but we dont have to be prisoners of it. God's purpose is not limited by our pasts. God specializes in giving people a fresh start.

2) Many people are driven by resentment and anger. They hold onto hurts and never get over them. Some resentment driven people "clam-up" and internalize their anger while others "blow-up" and explode it onto others.

Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold onto the pain through resentment. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. For your own sake learn from it and let it go!

3) Many people are driven by fear. Fear-driven people often miss out on great opportunities because they're afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks and trying to maintain the status quo. Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends you to be.

4) Many people are driven by materialism. Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of their lives. This drive to always want more is based on the misconception that having more will make me happy. Posessions only provide temporary happiness. Self worth and net worth are not the same. God says the most valuable things in life are not things! Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken from you--your relationship with God!

5) Many people are driven by the need for approval. They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control their lives. some are driven by peer pressure always worried by what others might think.

*One key to failure is trying to please everyone.

Being controlled by the opinions of others is a guaranteed way to miss God's purposes for your life.

*Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life
*Knowing your purpose simplifies your life
*Knowing your purpose focuses your life
*Knowing your purpose motivates your life
*Knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity

Isaiah 26:3--"You Lord give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you."

Question to consider: What would my friends and family say is the driving force in my life? What do I want it to be?

I found a song that sums up my life at this moment

I love music, most of my friends and family know I love a song because of the lyrics. I found a song last night sung by Brad Paisley that kinda sums up everything for me...

Its called "Then" the lyrics really get me...

"Then"

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you.

You had me memorized

And three weeks later, in the front porch light

taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight

I hadnt told you yet but I thought I loved you then.

Chorus

And now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world

I just cant believe the way I feel about you girl

Like a river meets the sea

Stronger than its ever been

We've come so far since that day and I thought I loved you, then.

And I remember, taking you right back to where I first met you,

You were so surprised

There were people around, but I didnt care

Got down on one knee right there once again,

I thought I loved you then

Chorus

And now you're my whole life

Now you're my whole world

I just cant believe the way I feel about you, girl

Like a river meets the sea

stronger than its ever been

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

I could just see you with a baby on the way

And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray

What I cant see is how I am ever gonna love you more

But I've said that before

And now you're my whole life

now you're my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl

We'll look back someday, at this moment we're in

And I'll look at you and say

And I thought I loved you then

And I thought I loved you then

That song just melts my heart and sums up exactly how I feel at this moment in my life. Isnt it awesome when a song can do that? Have a wonderful day I know I will.

Purpose-Driven Life Day 2-- You are not an Accident

Isaiah 44:2--" I am your Creator, You were in my care even before you were born."

"God doesnt play dice" Albert Einstein

You were not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap. Your life is not a fluke of nature no matter how much you have been through and think it is. Your parents may not have planned you but God did. God thought of us first, not our parents.

Psalm 138:8--"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."

Psalm 139:15--"You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body, you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something."

Psalm 139:16--"You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in Your book!"

While there are illigitimate parents there are no illigitimate children. No child is unplanned by God. God has a reason for everything He does.

Ephesians 1:4--"Long before he laid down the Earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love.

James 1:18--"God decided to give us life through the word of truth so we might be important of all things He made."

God is not haphazard, He planned everything with great precision.

Isaiah 45:18--"God formed the Earth...He did not create it to be empty but formed it to be inhabited."

God is a God of love. This kind of love is difficult to fathom but its fundamentally reliable. God made us so He could love us. This is a truth to build our lives on! Love is the essence of God's character, there is perfect love in the fellowship of the trinity so God didnt Need to create us. He wanted to create us.

Isaiah 46:3-4--"I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you since birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you.

Purpose Driven Life--Day 1

Okay i started this journey on Friday, unfortunately here it is Sunday and I am posting...so bear with me....The 1st words in this chapter really hit me....ITS NOT ABOUT YOU....wow..The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment. It is reinterated to me by Colossians 1:16--"For everything, absolutely everything above and below, visible and invisible, everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in HIM. I dont think it can get any more cut and dried than that. I used to think Life was all about being happy and just taking the lumps that it throws at you (kind of like when a baby throws oatmeal..) I used to think after my divorce, why Lord but just in this 1st chapter I have learned its not about me, its about Him and how He can take the lumps from the "oatmeal' I have been thrown and use them for His glory.

I have so many friends who are missing the diffinitive "point". Job 12:10 says "It is God who directs the lives of His creatures everyone's life is in His power." Contrary to what many books and self-help gurus say you arent going to find permanent happiness within yourself. You can find temporary but thats just it, its temporary, i think thats why there are so many divorces and suicides in this country..People think that they have to have that special "someone" in their life. I used to think this to, but once I put that notion aside and put the focus on the Lord and my kids and my job and my friends and family this inner peace welled up inside of me. For the last year since the divorce, I found my inner peace through my walk with the Lord. I learned to live and be happy with what the Lord blessed me with. And then when God blessed me with Horacio I was ready, there are so many different things about Horacio, that are so different than my marriage. Its like I am "stepping out of my box so to speak." getting past the "comfort zone" there is a phrase that keeps coming back to me as I write this .."You were made by God and for God-and until you understand that, life will never make sense." I know so many people who want to "get ahead" in life, and will stop at nothing (even hurting family and dear friends) to accomplish this, but they are so missing the point. Yeah its great to have that list of dreams and goals and strive to accomplish them, but its so hard when God has other plans because you didnt allow for God to work in those goals and dreams. What I am saying is this we can make the best laid plans in the whole world but if we dont let God in on those plans then they wont go as we planned...ever....

That being said God has not left us in the dark to wonder and guess. He has revealed His purposes for us through the bible. "God's wisdom goes deep into the interior of His purposes, Its not the latest message, but more like the oldest--what God determined as the way to bring out the best in us." 1st Corint. 2:7..

God is not the starting point of your life; He is the source of it. To discover your purpose in life you must turn to the word of God. You must build your life on the eternal truths not some pop psychology, success-motivation, or inspirational stories, like my pastor told me, the cold-hard facts. Ephesians 1:11 sums it all up-- "Its in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of overallpurpose He is working out in everything and everyone.

The verse gives 3 insights into your purpose:

1. You discover your identity and purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ

2. God was thinking about you long before you ever thought about Him. His purpose for your life predates your conception. He planned it before you existed without your input! You may choose your career, your spouse, your hobbies, and many other parts of your life but you dont get to choose your purpose.

3. The purpose of your life fits into a much larger cosmic purpose that God has designed for eternity.

Without God, life makes no sense. You may have felt in the dark about your purpose in life. Congratulations, you're about to walk into that light.

Purpose-Driven Life Intro

I have been struggling for the last few months with alot of things within me. My walk with the Lord has been struggling, and I have lost focus. I love Horacio and I thank God for everyday that we have together and that love is growing which scares me. On the 21st of June I will be walking in Relay for Life, as a survivor for me that is an awesome accomplishment because 5 years ago they didnt know what was going to happen. God knew. Over a year ago I went through a very upsetting divorce. I thought back in 2001 I had married the love of my life. Little did I know he didnt feel the same way about me. But my divorce allowed me to meet the Love of my life and I am enjoying building a life with Horacio and Dustin and Matty and Ali my little princess. I never knew love could feel like this, so awesome, so encompassing (for lack of a better word). This love I have found in Rey and my kids and my walk with the Lord is the kind of love Paul talks about in 1st Corinthians 13 it is truly an awe-inspiring love.

That awesome love brings alot of questions, alot of what ifs, and alot of doubt and uncertainty. With this love and my life going forward since the divorce I have also had to overcome one of the toughest battles in my life with depression. Before Rey I had given up on meeting anyone. 3 kids, 3 different dads I didnt need any more heartache, I put my focus on God and my kids. And then Rey crossed my path and alot of that changed. This past week we have actually been talking about the "next step" which has me more scared than ever, but this is also where I need to work on my faith, God has a plan. As I was working on the bookshelf downstairs I came across the "purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I havent read this book since 2005 so as I flip open the cover I see the introduction right on the cover..."you are not an accident. Even before the universe was created, God had you in mind, and He planned you for His purposes. These purposes will extend far beyond the few years you will spend on Earth. You were made to last forever!" As I read that just that little blip alot of things come to mind--Why God, why have I gone through divorce and cancer and reposession and forclosure and everything? Where is your glory in that? As I ask those questions I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to help and not hurt you, plans to give you hope and a purpose." That is so hard for me to digest. Why Lord am I struggling to make ends meet? Why am I so angry at my ex husband because he robbed me of everything I loved? Why dont I get luxuries in life..so many questions and then I remember "Be Still, and know that I am God." Be still? How can I be still Lord when everything is so unsettled? and then I read on, still on the cover of this book--"This book will help you understand why you are alive and God's amazing plan for you-both here and now and for eternity. Rick Warren will guide you through a personal 40 day spiritual journeythat will transform your answer to the question: What on Earth am I here for?" "knowing God's purpose for creating you will in turn reduce your stress, focus your energy, simplify your decisions, give meaning to your lifeand most important prepare you for eternity." Okay God let me strap on my backpack and lets go..I invite you to join me in this journey this spiritual 40 day journey to find myself in the Lord again. To not lose focus and to keep it all in Him. As I get ready for this journey, not that I am going anywhere physically but I am spiritually I am reminded of the Steven Curtis Chapman--"Great Adventure" it begins: "Saddle up your horses..we have a trail to blaze..." I do I am headed out, come and join me, everyone can use a good spiritual awakening....

Summer 2009, a picture is worth a thousand words....

Kids Free Vacation!

Finally the day arrived! Kids free vacation! This is going to be great or so I thought it was! I should have known there were going to be issues when I had to borrow money from Rey to pay the bills for the month (thanks alot to xh and his not following through when it comes to child support!) Thursday night after work I drove up to mom and dads and went to the end of dads softball game (this was also my chance to show Ali off to all mom and dads softball friends who hadnt seen her yet!) Friday morning I drove Ali over to stay with my friend Penny and then headed back to Indy. Got back to Indy like 12 pm on Friday and took my time clearing up some things before I met Rey at like 3pm. We went to the pool and took a nap and then I made some awesome scrambled eggs with chicken that was marinated in Red Pepper Vinigrette--delicious! Had a pretty uneventful evening except Rey was in a real mood. We went up to the airport and met Rey's dad's plane (he was coming home from Nicaragua) and we took them home to Lafayette. Drove back to Indy, got there like 2am and went to sleep! Saturday morning we got up..let the fighting begin! it just lasted like all day, we went for dinner to Lafayette to his dads house and then on the way home it was like someone opened the pressure cooker..bam!!! the jeep overheated and we were fighting it was just an awful ride home! saturday night was spent talking things out--thats what I love about him the most when we argue we sit down and talk things out and we went to bed that night not mad at each other anymore. Sunday we enjoyed breakfast and then went to Olive Garden for lunch and then Sunday night went to the casino in Shelbyville and had alot of fun! Monday I was so sick and so I spent alot of time laying in bed, I am so blessed to have someone who wants to be with me and doesnt make excuses. There was one thing that happened this weekend that I didnt mention-- saturday afternoon we stopped at Advance where they were having a cookout and had a sausage. After that we left and rey was like are you thirsty? Without me even saying yes he pulled into the next gas station and didnt ask me what I wanted and came out with a fountain pepsi (my favorite) I was in shock. What did I do to deserve a man to be this good to me. When I told my friend Gena about this and how shocked I was she text me this back: "is he aware of that dollar pepsi meaning more to you right now than any diamond he could purchase? the little things if only they realized..lol" she was so right and I am so lucky to have FINALLY met the love of my life! Besides aunt flow visiting it was an awesome weekend all around!

Hot Time Summer in the City!

Alright! Bring on the heat! June in Indiana is hot! Yesterday was 88 degrees today is 89! I dropped Matty off at his dads on Sunday, I am going to miss my little man, oh golly my house is quiet now like big time! Rey even commented how different it was not having Matty coming and bugging us every 5 minutes and baby girl Ali well lets just say she is in bed by 9pm which gives Rey and I time to connect before we head to sleep.

3 days from now I am heading on my first free kid vacation in 9 years! I am so excited and I admit a little nervous. I am going to be giving my baby to my family up north for the week (next week) and it will just be Rey and I. Not sure what all we are doing, I know a trip to Kings Island is planned (this time I will wear sunscreen I promise) but this will be like a make or break thing with Rey. I have to admit I love him, I have never felt this way about anyone before. The way we laugh and joke together is awesome. He is becoming my best friend (no Gena and Melissa and Janie you will always be my best friends also, I couldnt get through life without all of you...) heck without all of my friends for that matter. Uggh well I want to add more but I have reports to do so more later..peace out y'all!

I dont know how to title this...

I cant believe I dont know how to title this. First of all the 500 was awesome! I wish Rey would have enjoyed it more but he went and so now in 2 weeks I will be riding roller coasters at Kings Island, something I am dreading but oh well. We even had 2 crashes right in front of us! I actually think he would like the Brickyard better, more rubbin, more dirt than Indy car but we went and had a super time.

Saturday before the 500 we took Matty to Kokomo and I talked Rey into driving to Potato Creek where some of my friends were camping so they could meet him. We had a good afternoon with Penny and Terry and yeah Chris and Dean we just missed you but its all good.

On Tuesday Rey became a US citizen! It was so awesome and I am so psyched that I got to be there to see him take his oath! We celebrated with lunch at Hard Rock Cafe, they have the best chocolate shakes! I am so glad I was a part of his special day. He told me later that when he was up there taking his oath he felt like I was standing there right with him. I love that man, love him for so much and I am so happy to have him in my life.

This morning I got the news that my Aunt Barbara had died. Aunt Barbara was awesome. She fought cancer for 20+ years. I know it started in her breasts and she had a double masectomy and then it spread all over her body, but she never gave up the fight, until this morning. I am so glad she got to see her granddaughter get married on May 2nd and she could be there for the wedding and some of the reception. Aunt Barbara was the inspiration for me to fight my cancer and deal with it all. I am so blessed to have had her in my life.

I didnt know how to title this but I guess roller coaster would be appropriate because of all the ups and downs.

Bring on the weekend!!!

This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend, a weekend where we remember our fallen soldiers who died for our freedom. It is also the 1st weekend of the official summer so its also a big party! For the first time in 10 years I am not going to have any kids for this long weekend, and I am going to enjoy it! The pool is going to open, we have the 500 here in Indy and for the first time I get to go (thanks to an awesome man who has some awesome connections!) and the seats are awesome! I cant wait! I love this time of year, there is so much to do! The weather is awesome, its great to be able to go outside and go walking, go camping, swimming, biking, hiking. I am even going to try and talk Rey into a canoe trip in July down Sugar Creek. Then we have the 4h fair I can almost taste those elephant ears! So bring on summer, bring on the heat and get out there and enjoy it, I know I am going to!!

Well..Matty had the 1st casualty of summer..and its not even summer yet!

Well its what 1 week left till school is out and of course here we go bring on the scrapes and bumps and bruises and by the picture you can see that Matty has Christened the summer so to speak. Yesterday he was riding his bike and went to stop and next thing I know he was flying over the handlebars of his bike and hitting the pavement--ouch! I love my son with all my heart but apparently he inherited my sense of grace haha.

I dont think my week can get any worse!

Okay I am at it...my wits end! I dont think my week can get any worse..OMG!!! Yeah maybe thats a bad word but oh well I am so there! Tuesday and Wednesday I was sick and stayed home from work on Wednesday. Came back in on Thursday morning and was like Holy Cow! Basically all my work that no one seemed to do was piled on my desk...uggh....remind me again when I am laying there dying to not take a sick day it just compounds things! Okay well that was work we will leave the rest of that alone..just know its been a bad week and I am so needing alcohol and sex I am even past the Ben and Jerry's OMG!!!

My son, the 6 yr old is quite the challenge. Lord knows I love him with all my heart but he is the most strong willed stubborn child, Hey mom was I ever like that? Haha I cant wait for her to give me an answer..anyways I am in the process of trying to lose 15 lbs so I can fit in my summer wardrobe. I have this one box of cookies and I announced to Rey and to him the other night that this box of cookies were MINE--not Matty's mind you, but MINE and I was restricting myself to eating 1 cookie a day after I excercised, you know like a reward thing.. Anyways last night I came home and had to go up and change Ali's diaper and when I came down to start supper there was Matty with chocolate all over his face and an empty package of cookies--the cookies I told him were MINE! I was so angry, how hard is it for a child to understand that not everything is theirs. Earlier in the day he had taken my 3.00 which was my pop money for the rest of the week off the counter and lied about it and now the cookies....and then on top of all of that he proceeded to go outside and play around in a mud puddle and then when asked why his shoes and shorts and shirt were black from the mud he lied to me about it..wth???

Those socks that were on his feet with the tennis shoes will never be white again and who knows about the pants and everything else. I swear there are some days I just want to smack my head into the wall...I see these kids on Nanny 911 and Supernanny and I am like why cant my child learn to listen, what the hell is it going to take for him to realize he has boundaries and that he needs to respect other peoples property?

I admit I am a mom who lets my kids walk all over me because I would rather be their friend rather than be this very strict parent and so I am hoping to find a happy medium in all of this. Uggh I dont know there is so much more I want to post but I am just exhausted and frustrated.

Ali is experiencing Cereal!

And absolutely loves it! Last night I decided that we needed to get her so that she wasnt waking up at 4am for a bottle and that she would sleep through till at least my alarm at 5am so we decided to try feeding her cereal ... at first it looked like she wasnt going to like this and was going to spit it out at me and Rey and then we kept on with her and finally she started to like it and she by the end of the bowl had a huge cereal grin on her face! I cannot believe she is so easygoing that she liked it! I can tell you though that she would rather have Rey feed her than me and she is such his girl when he is around which is so awesome. I love when he takes his shirt off and lays with her watching tv with her bare chest or cuddles with her after we get her pajamas on her. She is such mommy's little princess as well, she loves to get baths and have a massage after her bath and I love dressing her. I thank God everyday for my children, they are what keep me going, I love hearing "I love you mama" from Matty and Ali's coos and aaaahhh's (her favorite thing to say) and Dustin's text messages and emails, I can have the worst day in the world and then come home and the kids will usually make it all better. Okay...gonna go and hug my kids.

Mom cant be sick!!

Okay I have come to the realization that mom cant be sick! Monday afternoon it started with this little headache and by Tuesday afternoon I had gone through a box of tissues for my neverending runny nose the headache was still there and I was miserable. Funny thing is that Rey came home with it Monday night after class feeling awful and I end up with the crud on Tuesday. Its funny because women have to be tough when they get sick and men get to whine or at least that is how I see it. Well Wednesday I decided to stay home and rest, so I sent Matty to school and Ali to daycare and Rey and I stayed home and slept through the morning. At 1230 we got up and ordered chinese takeout and then slept till like 3pm when he left to go to study before his class and I went over to Michelle's to get the kids. I just want to thank God for making meds to get over the crud--thank you for Coricidin HBP Flu. It was a lifesaver. That and Puffs Plus with Vicks. Both of them things I would have never made it through the crud as fast as I did without them.

I just keep hoping the kids dont get this so I have been spraying down everything with Lysol. I am so glad I had Rey to help me get through this as well. Even though he was sick he still helped me with the kids and even went out in the rain with me to take them to Michelle's yesterday...I dont like being sick because nothing gets done when you cant get it done!

Whats been going on in my life

Well its spring, the trees are budding, the flowers blooming, I have to admit that next to summer this is my favorite time of the year. The kids are outside playing ball and riding their bikes. Ali I cannot believe is 3 months old now. She is such a happy baby always smiling and cooing. I love it that her eyes light up and a smile comes across her face whenever me or Rey come into the room or like pick her up from daycare.

Matty is growing as well. This week at school he is the Child of the Week, we have learned since last weekend that fingernail polish doesnt go into the hair, also we also learned that the only way to get the fingernail polish out of the hair is by shaving the head, which Matty didnt want to happen since we tried nail polish remover and paint thinner and they didnt work so now he has hot pink highlights mixed into his dark brown/black hair.

Dustin has regained use of his cell phone and computer after getting a's and b's on his progress report. Also Harley has gone up there to live with him and from what I hear things are going great with him and her. I miss my dog but I am glad she can be with Dustin and my house can slowly get back to normal. I have figured out that I am not really a dog person, I love my cat Callie and hopefully in the next few months can get a persian cat and name her Cleopatra and call her Cleo for short, its going to be so nice to not have to pack up a dog and her cage whenever I decide to head up north for the weekend.

Life for me is going great. I am in love with an awesome man, its like ok God I want this, this and this in a man and oh boy did he answer. Rey is everything I have wanted and more! I love having a man who thinks so much like me, who wants to know me and love me for me and not expect me to change anything. I love when I get a text message in the middle of the day just out of the blue telling me that he loves me and is thinking of me. He also loves Ali and the kids which is a huge plus. Dustin tells everyone that he is glad his mom found someone and is happy. Dustin got the chance to know Rey the week he was down here for spring break and Rey, on his day off took the kids to the zoo! I love the fact that everyday he tells me how beautiful I am and now his life is complete that he has me and the kids. I just thank God everyday for the sunshine he has given me at the end of a very long dark tunnel.

Dustin is getting his projects ready for the fair and playing baseball. His 1st game was last Saturday and he got a double which was awesome but alas he is like his mom and loves to dig for high balls and so struck out his next time at bat. He starts summer band in June and will be playing the tuba. I am not thrilled about the tuba but its what he wanted to play and Jon is right, I have to learn to let him go and guide him but not run his life anymore. He is a good kid, not on drugs, not in trouble (except with his parents once in awhile) so I need to let go of the apron strings, which is so hard because hes my first, my peanut and he will always be my peanut, matty will always be my pumpkin and alison will always be my bugaboo. This weekend being Mothers Day really makes me reflect on how awesome and blessed I am to have my kids and how much I have grown with all the hell I have been through. I thank my friend Melissa and my friend Gena and my friend Janie for sticking through it all with me. I dont know what I would have done without each and everyone of you, I am so blessed to have moved on from my divorce, closed that chapter in my life and opened a new chapter with Rey and the kids.

What is it with the whistle?

Okay what is it with this whistle thing? It must be a gift from God for a select few people that by putting their fingers in their mouth and blowing can make a sound that will stop people dead in their tracks. My pastors wife has this gift and she uses it, my youngest sister has this gift and she can stop me and my kids in a New York minute when she uses her "gift" I unfortunately dont have that ability and hell that sucks when I need the kids to behave etc...there are also times that it gets annoying, like when my sister overuses it. But what is it with the power that a "whistle" like that causes? Can you tell I am bored here. The kids are both asleep and Rey is at the gym or wherever so I am just blogging to blog....Just a random thought....

I dont know why but lately being a cancer survivor has meant alot more to me than it did before. Maybe its hitting the 5 year mark this year in February or maybe its because this past February the 8th I had my miracle baby my baby girl Alison or maybe its because I have found the love of my life finally someone who understands me and loves me for me. Anyways I have gotten the crazy idea of getting a tattoo to remember being a survivor. I began looking for ideas for my tattoo and decided on getting the thyroid cancer survivor ribbon on my right hip. My cousin Cori has the breast cancer ribbon in honor of her grandmother on her foot and I think it looks awesome but I figure the hip would be safer. So what do you think of this being on my hip, I am not going to use the butterfly just the ribbon, I have a butterfly on my tailbone so I think that would be overkill.

What an awesome accomplishment!

The other day I got an email from the MSGT of the unit I work for. For those of you who dont know I am a civilian contractor that works for 1st Army in the mobilization and demobilization of troops going to and from Iraq, Afghanistan, Kosovo, Bosnia, and many other places in the world. I was being honored at the Staff meeting on Wednesday. Honored for what? I seriously didnt have a clue so yesterday I went into the meeting and me and 8 other civilians and a handful of military were presented with the Indiana National Guard Commendation Medal. This award is the highest award you can receive with the Indiana National Guard. In Dec 2007 and then again in Nov 2008 I helped in the effort to mobilize and demobilize 3500 members of the 76th Brigade. In January I was honored by 1st Army for the mob and demob of the 76th.

For those of you who think you are going to remove me from my job need to get a clue. 2 awards in 3 months, I have been honored by both 1st Army and now the Indiana National Guard and we also found out yesterday that sometime in the next 2 weeks we will be honored by MEDDAC down at Ft. Knox. Plus on top of all of this I am accepting a promotion within my job. I absolutely love what I do, yeah I admit sometimes the hour drive does ware on me but I am serving my country and that to me means alot.

Creative Counterpart Chapters 1-5

I havent had any patients today so I love to use that time to read, almost 2 years ago when I was still married and my marriage was nearing the end I signed up for a class online called Creative Counterpart in a last ditch effort to save my marriage. I got the book and began reading it and never got past Chapter 3 when Michael filed for divorce and I figured there wasnt anything more for me to learn since my marriage was over. Of course I was wrong. Anyways I have been going through alot within myself the past couple of months and I knew that today was going to be a light patient day so I pickedup the book off the bookshelf and took it to work with me. When I first started to read this book, it was like the Lord opened my eyes to so much...within the 1st sentence ...bam....Proverbs 4:23--"Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it springs forth the issues of life." I took that verse and meditated on it. Our hearts are such fragile "organs" our hearts help us feel, they can be shattered or broken and we as children of God need to guard our hearts which means stay in the word, stay in prayer, stay in fellowship with other believers. It means to keep our heart pure, to make wise decisions in Him. I have recently began dating again. This time I am dating I am 31 years old and the mom to 3 kids. I have to admit its not easy. I would like to find a man who shares the same ideals that I do...I havent found alot out there. I think thats why I started reading this book...I want to get back to who I am in Christ. I know I am the kids mom and a daughter and a sister and a friend and a confidante and maybe even a girlfriend but I want to know what else I am and where else I need to be. I admit that for the past year I have had a lockdown on my heart when Michael left me I was hurt and angry and devastated and so I hid my heart. I didnt let anyone near me and because of this I hurt myself and others around me. Then I found out I was pregnant and when Ali's dad ran I locked myself down even more. It was during my pregnancy that I realized that I needed to go back to the heart of the Lord, that I needed to get into him. I have a bumper sticker on my myspace that talks about to know me you need to seek the Lord. I so want to live to that expectation. I want to keep the Lord 1st and let the rest of the "things" in my life fall into place. No I dont have a 5 year or even a 10 year plan I just live each day as it comes -- to the fullest. I have met a wonderful man whom I have let the guard around my heart down a little to but I have also learned the only person I can truly trust is the Lord. This past Sunday I took Rey to the Vineyard. I love that church and I love Chapel Rock so for the most part I have been attending both. Rey was blown away by the Vineyard and the music and the drama and the service. I prayed all through that service that he would find "the better life" with Christ in it. I dont know if he has, that is between him and God but one thing I did do and I am glad I did was ask him to come to church with me. Pastor Bricker did an awesome sermon...he started out about chocolate and how his love for chocolate has led him to sample some of the more expensive chocolates. He then led into a life with Christ being "the better life", Pastor Bricker doesnt have to convince me I know that my life with Christ is 15 times better than my life without. I have tried for years to have plans and plan this and that and well God had other ideas. Life isnt about a solid plan, Life is about giving it all to Him and letting Him fit in the pieces of the puzzle as He wills. Thats why putting Him first in your life is so important without Him the pieces of the puzzle dont fit and it leaves openings for satan to come in and seek and destroy. When we left church I was wondering what kind of impact the church made on him and I told myself not to ask...finally I couldnt take it any longer and I asked and he even wrote his paper for his class, on the church, that the church made that much of an impact on him. Monday was a good day and then Tuesday oh I knew it would happen sooner or later and Satan has attacked. I am sitting here as I am writing this praying that Satan would just leave Rey alone and I pray that Rey not forget all he has learned this past weekend. Last night when I text him he was in a weird mood and then today when I text him good morning he said we need to talk. All day long I have been in this book letting the Lord work on me. I dont know what he wants to talk about but I know that God is in control whatever it may be. Anyways okay back to the book and everything:

--A wise woman is able and qualified for her work, has command of her own spirit and is able to manage others.

--The most important thing to man (ladies listen up! Its not what you think) is for him to know that the woman he loves is on his team. If the rest of the world calls him a fool and deserts him, it is a great comfort for him to know that she'll be there beside him no matter what.

As I read this very important 1st Chapter God began to show me my faults. Yeah I know I am not perfect, isnt that a shocker :) In my marriage I wasnt on my husbands team and actually when he screwed up I was usually the first one to laugh. I know now that thats wrong.

Love is not a conditional thing. You cannot be like I love you but you need to do this and this and this...I am striving to have a love like Christ had.. He loved all people regardless of social class, race, etc and he loved people unconditionally. There was no if you do this then I cannot love you etc I love the 1st Corinthians chap 13 but it is verse 7 that really stands out the most "Love endures ALL things, its not you live your life and I will live mine, its we need to live in peace and love and unity.

2nd Corinthians 12:19--"We do all things beloved for Your edification building them up and helping them grow in Christ.

Which brings about the attitude--I will do anything my love for your benefit. I can see where this speaks to a Christian woman married to a non-Christian man. She loves that man unconditionally because the love isnt coming from her per se but its coming through her from her love of Christ.

My favorite movie I have seen in awhile is Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. Caleb played by Kirk Cameron is a married man who is self-absorbed in himself and saving for a boat and internet porn that he fails to see how much pressure he is putting on his wife Katherine. Katherine works full time and keeps up the house while Caleb takes care of himself. Well as they learn as the movie goes on you can only do that for so long and you begin to grow apart. Caleb and Katherine didnt have God in their marriage and ultimately it began to fail. I had God in my marriage or so I thought but now I am finding out in hindsight that Michael didnt have a heart for God if anything he was just like Caleb except he cheated on his wife. Caleb's father sends him this book called the "Love Dare" 40 days to enhance his marriage and find the love and connection again but as Caleb learns the more he gets into the Love Dare that he isnt going to love his wife the way that she needs to be loved, deserves to be loved without the Love of God in Him. And it isnt all Katherine's fault that their marriage is failing apart. People dont realize that if they want things to change that change has to be within ... I know after my divorce God really worked on me in changing for the better. My favorite part of the movie is when Caleb and his dad are on the trail by Caleb's house and they walk on a like outdoor church setting and Caleb's dad stands by the cross and Caleb says "dont talk to me about God" and then it hits Caleb -- God's love has been right there all along and Caleb has spat in the Lord's face and it is right then and there that Caleb needs the Lord in His life and chooses at that moment to "lay down his arms, lay down his defenses" and come to the Lord and seek Him, which ultimately leads him to love his wife even more than he ever thought possible.

I am so praying for a love like that from someone. I know that I can give that love to someone..man wasnt designed to live alone. I have tried and tried to show this, but I dont think I am getting the same response as I am giving my I dont give up I have faith and my faith is what is going to sustain me.

I have been reading alot about the Proverbs 31 woman and I am finding that she had so much love to give that it didnt stop with her family, it went on to her church, her friends, her extended family. Her true beauty comes from inner strength of character.

This book at the end of the 1st Chapter asks this one question that I swear really gets me-- Do you want to be the Proverbs 31 woman? The starting place is the same for us as it was for her -- Our relationship with the Lord. Philipians 2:12-13 states "For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey Him and then helping you do what He wants." Its 100% God and 100% Me it cant be 50% Me and 50% God, He needs all of us not just the good part of us or what we think is the better part. A relationship with God is much like a marriage relationship each partner must give 100% or the partnership will ultimately fail.

2nd Corinthians 5:17--"Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away and behold all things are new."

We need to look past the present circumstances and look at the big picture, and see all that God has done in our lives. Hebrews 13:5 states "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I am so looking forward to expounding on this later but it gives comfort to my heart that no matter what is thrown at me my faith in the Lord can continue to sustain me.

Sex in the City

I have to say that that was an awesome movie! I loved the series and I am so the "I dont want the movie to ruin the series or ruin the book..." kind of a person. So the other night after checking out and heading toward the exit there it was...a Redbox. I had never heard of Redbox till moving to Indy and the only one I knew about in my area was at McDonalds on 10th Street but there it was...a Redbox in Meijer! Where else can you rent a new release movie for 1.00 a night (1.07 with tax) and if you dont get it back the 1st night by 9pm then thats okay they just charge you another dollar. Anyways I have been getting movies from there and Saturday night I decided to rent Sex in the City. Very good movie! On Facebook awhile back there was this quiz which character are you most like and when I took the quiz it came back ..Carrie...I had to really stop and think because I thought for sure I would be like Miranda, very serious, very right to the point. I knew for sure I couldnt be Sam...and I was too laid back to be the other one (yeah I know but I am forgetting her name..uggh) because she is way too uptight. Anyways the movie was awesome! It did not ruin the series at all if anything the series enhanced the movie.

Easter 2009

Easter this year was so awesome! I had every intention of going home to mom and dads and the easter egg hunt and dinner and everything but it is weird we can have the biggest and best laid plans and God decides that something needs to change those plans. The kids (Dustin was down here in Indy for his spring break) ended up on Monday night sick with this weird flu thing..it was so weird, you would think the kids were getting better and then boom the temp spiked and it would start all over again. Thank God for my lovely man because he took his days off to stay with the kids so I could work. Friday night I took Dustin back to Kokomo and his dad picked him up. All in all besides being sick I think he had a great week. Now we are jumping into 4H and baseball...yay my little boy made the Majors!!! I cant wait to go up there this summer and see some of his games. Anyways Matty was still sick Friday so he didnt get to go to his dads because God forbid he take care of his sick son ...so I didnt go north, no sense spreading it to everyone up there. I was heartbroken. I had never ever not been home for Easter, Easter is like my favorite holiday because its spring and there is so much from all the newness of spring to Christ's Resurrection and I love hearing all the hymns like "Christ the Lord has Risen Today" and so many others. Its about the only time of the year that I do love hymns. Anyways I was stuck home so my wonderful man, whom I love with all my heart decided we needed to go to church on Sunday so we did. Now mind you Rey hasnt been to church in years but the way that service spoke to him was awesome! Before we went to church my friend Melissa called me and told me she found God that morning which was just so awesome -- I so love it when my friends whom I have been praying for for years find peace and happiness in the Lord and realize that its not all about themselves. I have this list in my head of people who may or may not know about the Lord but so need to have the Lord in their lives and this weekend 2 of the most important people in my life were led to the Lord. I would like to think I had a part in it but its all about Him.

Anyways church was awesome! We went to the Vineyard and the music, the drama, and the message were so captivating, the Holy Spirit was so moving in that Worship Center that morning. Thank you Lord for giving me peace and joy and contentment and when it seemed that there wasnt anyone out there for me, thank you Lord for the awesome man you put into my life.

We came home from church and I took my stab at making Easter Dinner, it was delicious if I do say so myself. Baked Ham with Brown Sugar and Cloves Glaze, Mashed Potatoes, Corn, Crescent Rolls, and Brownies and Ice Cream for dessert. Thank you God for taking away the void of missing my family and instead filling it with the love and memories that I will have forever spending it with Rey and Matty and Ali.