So glad this week is over!

Omg! No one can be more happy this week is over than me! I knew when I woke up Monday morning I should have just pulled the covers over my head and slept till Friday or maybe even the next Monday! Yeah that would have been better the next Monday! But then if I got to sleep a week (which would have been nice) I would have missed some of the good points of my week (yes there were a couple) Its so funny I can have my foundation attacked and everything rock me to my core but I suddenly stop and am like okay Lord keep me rooted in my foundation! Keep my feet planted firmly on the ground, keep my foundation built on the rock, not the sand and he does...its amazing but he has never failed me. He has brought me to my knees but He has never failed me!

People need to get this straight, they arent going to destroy me they are going to destroy themselves, life isnt all about living in the past, life is about living in the present and future and people who are miserable and petty think there is nothing better than hashing up the past and things that happen in the past for their enjoyment -- to me that is so sad, what has happened has happened and its over get over it and move on ..thats Christ in me. Satan however wants people to wallow in the past the whole he did this, you did this thing. He wants people to be miserable in their lives, to be bankrupt and unhappy. I may not have lots of money but you dont need lots of money to be rich, I am rich in friends and love of my family and my kids are the loves of my life, I dont know where I would be without my kids I know there are days where I have been attacked and rocked to my core and just so want to give up and then I come home and Alison will have smiled at me and Matty will hug me and tell me how much he loves his mommy and Dustin will call me and tell me all about his day and then I know how much it is worth it and how lucky and blessed I am. I cannot believe at one time in my life I put my marriage over my kids and I am so glad that the Lord with his grace and love opened my eyes and helped me to realize how much more important and much more constant my kids will be more than anyone else in my life.

Life is not all about you. Life is about what a difference you make in someone's life.I have taught my children and other single moms and families about the love of Christ. Its not easy putting yourself on the back burner and focusing on others but the rewards and the blessings are awesome! I just cant see how people can be selfish and petty, and constantly rehash things that are past, there is always so much more as you look toward the future...my favorite saying is that "God may close a door, but He always will open a window." I know this week was bad but God did put some people in my life to get me through it (thanks for the hug I so needed it and it was so nice to meet you put a face with a voice and I am looking forward to getting to know you even more.) As for the "downers" in my life ...just get over it and move on..Lord knows Ihave, I dont care about your petty lives oh and my life isnt sad my life is a work in progress full of ups and downs and please dont justify to me how perfect you are or have your s/o tell me how awesome you are all I can say to that is whatever. I dont get fired from my job because of my attitude, instead this week I was awarded a command sargeant majors coin from the North American Medical Corp for the US Army for my 2 years of exemplary service to Camp Atterbury and was also honored by the post commander for outstanding service to the soliders of Camp Atterbury which is truly an awesome accomplishment and one that has only been duplicated by 3 other persons in the last 6 years. Well I have a bathroom that needs to be cleaned and laundry to put away ...moms always on the go!

At the Cross You beckon me....

At the cross You,beckon me,
You draw me gently,to my knees and I am,lost for words so,lost in love,
I'm sweetly broken, Holy surrender!
At the cross You,You beckon me,draw me gently,to my knees and I am
,lost for words so,lost in love,
I am sweetly broken, Holy surrender!

I have got to say this is becoming one of my favorite praise and worship songs. Saturday night to try and ease this disconnectedness I have been feeling I went to church at Vineyard in Greenwood. I love the Vineyard with the music and the message and the Holy Spirit just moving in there. I dont know whats wrong with me lately. Dustin and my sisters urged me to join this online dating service called plentyoffish.com. Well I put my picture on there as well as filled out the profile and I have met some nice guys but then I have had several that have told me that while I am beautiful they just couldnt see themselves with 3 kids...I feel like because I have these kids I am damaged goods. I ask myself alot if there is anyone out there for me that can love me for me and not hurt me and love my kids and not freak out because I have 3 kids with 3 different dads. No I am not perfect I am just forgiven, forgiven by the blood that Jesus Christ shed for me when He died on that cross. And yes even though I have made some mistakes in my life (some really BIG ones I might add) God still loves me and forgives me He says so in His word. So those of you who think that if you screw up you arent going to get to heaven need to realize that the Lord is standing right there with open arms, He wants you, He wants to love you, He wants to be your all in all.

God has been really working on me these past few days. Saturday night when I went to church the message was on controlling your anger and living for the Lord. I admit I have a temper and I am notorious for letting it go when things get to me. I am proud to say that my little princess has my temper already..yeah I know thats not a good thing but I do think its funny! Anyways God has been so working on me to live my life for Him. I will share more about it in a later post as I dont have my bible or my notes with me. But I have got to learn to let go and let God I cannot control anything. I need to get over being mad at God and feeling like I have been punished.

Isnt she adorable? I love her bib "My mommy rocks" I cannot believe she is going is 6 weeks old today, already she is trying to sleep through the night and smile and coo and oh boy does she have an attitude!

She is the light of my life as are all my kids, Dustin is trying out for the majors baseball team and Matt just brought home a super report card! Every accomplishment those kids achieve just makes me prouder and prouder. The financial woes of 3 kidsand everything going on in my life dont compare to when my kids tell me they love me or all the hugs I get, Dustin made a picture for me last week that in the center had the word "mom" and then around that word was everything that he loved about me from my bbq meatloaf to going on bike rides together.

Children need love and their parents, they dont need stupid people who arent their parents trying to act like it and causing problems (you out there know who you are) deal with your own kids and your own problems before you get involved in mine. I have to ask what is so important about destroying a relationship with a mother and son when you dont even have custody of your daughter ever heard of the phrase ...work on your own house before you go destroying mine???

My children may not have been born in the best of circumstances but Ilove them with all my heart and love is all that matters. So today hug your child and tell them that you love them with all your heart, I know I am going to go do that right now.

Facebook

Okay I have to admit I am a Facebook junkie. I have myspace and then about 6 months ago a friend turned me on to Facebook and it is so cool I have connected with friends from youth group, high school, friends I had lost touch with. I love it when a "friend" leaves me a message just to say hi and I also love leaving messages on my friends profiles as well. Everyday it seems that another person from my past invites me to be their friend. I also love to play games on there and chat plus I have pictures on there as well, if you want to look me up I am Traci Hummel on Facebook and www.myspace.com/armywifeofmike on myspace and www.cafemom/superwoman8977 on cafemom.

Spring is just around the corner...

My favorite time of year is coming. Notice on the cover of this blog is flip flops because I love spring and summer and wearing flip flops and shorts (of course when I am not at work). Only in Indiana do we have crazy weather, Tuesday it was 74 degrees here and today we didnt get above 34 degrees. Go figure. Summer is the time where I enjoy the outside. I love camping and cooking on the grill and hanging out at the pool, I am pretty lucky my complex has a very nice pool and patio area and it will be great to get some sun this summer. For some crazy mixed up reason the fair is in June and July this year, they say it will be better I say it will be longer so who knows we are just going to have to wait and see. So now I am going to get through the end of this cold weather and think Spring with all the newness and everything and this year I have a beautiful new baby and 2 awesome boys to spend it with. Ask me next fall when it turns cold again how much I love spring and summer and I will begin dreaming of spring and summer again.

Matty's New Glasses!

Saturday morning when we were up at mom and dads the idea came upon my sister that we needed to go and get Matty his new glasses. I have had the prescription for his glasses since November and havent had the money to get them and then my sis found this cool ad in the paper for 2 pairs of glasses for 69.00 and so off we went. Have I mentioned it was raining very hard that day and we were out in the deluge with a 6 yr old, 10 yr old and a very cranky newborn? Anyways we get to the eyeglass place and the usual threats were given (you know them..behave in this store or you are grounded and well I threw in a bribe also that if they were good in the store we would go to GameStop, which I will of course later regret..lol) anyways we get in there and get Matty to try on glasses and he finds this blue frame that he likes and of course here we go again, my sis doesnt (apparently she thinks she has some sort of fashion sense, at least more than me..haha) anyways we look at the frames they have and we pick a brownish color pair and then Matty asks about the blue ones that I swear make him look like Harry Potter..very cute...and she says she doesnt like them but if he wants them..of course Matty wants them. Thats one thing I love about him is that he is such an against the grain stubborn person --all of my children are and I am glad I passed that trait on to them..lol....I am sure their future spouses and children wont be though.

So we go to order the glasses and come back to pick them up at 4:30 (awesome same day service which means he got them before I headed back to Indy the next day and we didnt have to worry about mailing them to us or anything.) For the most part the kids behaved in the eyeglass store so we went to the GameStop. If you have never been to a GameStop before its a store that sells games for gaming systems both new and used and usually at lower prices then other stores. The kids found Lego Star Wars used for 19.99 (new it is 50.00) and of course mom cant beat that so of course I buy it ...

At 4:30 we go back to the eyeglass store and pick up his new glasses. I can tell byt the way he is walking and the look on his face that he is very nervous to get glasses. I keep reassuring him that it will be ok and that he will see so much better with the glasses. We head back home to mom and dads and he starts playing the Wii and it isnt 5 seconds later I hear "mom you are right I can see my wii so much better with my glasses." Since then he wore them to school and had a couple of kids make fun of him but it hasnt been a problem and he loves his new glasses because he can see so much better and clearer.

An awesome weekend!

I decided last week to go home this past weekend and surprise my son! So Friday night after work I loaded up the baby's stuff and the dog cage and dog and everything and headed 4 hrs up north to my parents house. My mom had surgery 2 weeks ago and is recuperating laying on her stomach on this special pillow that juts out from the bed. Anyways she is to be on her stomach 20 hours a day which I give her credit because I sure couldnt do it!

Got up there Friday night...Omg was Dustin surprised and happy to see his mama! I love my peanut and I wish he could be in Indy with me but he is doing so well up there in Northern Indiana with his dad that for now I am going to leave things as is. He is active in 4-h and basketball and soccer and football for his school and hes getting more active in being part of my mom and dads church. He also gets to spend 2 weekends a month and half the summer with my parents and when I get a chance I get up there as well.

Saturday morning when we all got up (correction: Matty woke everyone up at 645 am...uggh doesnt that kid realize its Saturday any other day during the week I have to pull him out of bed so he can go to the sitter but sure as heck not Saturdays!) anyways him and my sister went and got donuts at my favorite bakery in town-- West End bakery that has always been a Saturday morning tradition in our family for as long as I can remember and they have something I havent been able to find anywhere else or at least not as good as those. I love the sour cream cake donuts and West End makes the best! There are so many times I get homesick for those or just a donut from the West End and here in Indy I havent found any mom and pop bakeries like the West End. I belong to a group on Facebook thats called You know you are from the Michiana area when...and well my response is you get to go to West End Bakery for donuts on Saturday morning!

Of course as usual it rained the whole weekend I was up there, for some reason everytime I go up there it either rains or snows it figures. I hate the weather up there thats why I live in Indy ..lol

Took Matty to get his new glasses but thats a whole nother post in itself. Afterwards I took the kids to GameStop and they found Star Wars Legofor 19.99!! Omg! My kids were so excited and lets just say that game has more than paid for itself already.

Then Kelly and I took Dustin to get his cleats for baseball and to price his pants and a new bat, I love it when we can take the kids one by one and give them some individual time it is so cool.

Since the divorce, spending time with my parents and friends in Northern Indiana has become such a vital part of my life, I make the effort like 1-2 times a month to come up and see everyone, I am so glad that God showed me how important, more important that family is.

Omg!!! People just need to get over themselves!

I swear people need to just get over themselves! I am so sick of people telling me I need to go after Alison's father. He doesnt want to be a father, I have tried talking to him, texting him and nothing. You cannot make a person want to be a father even to a precious princess like my Alison Rene. He doesnt want to be a dad and there is nothing I can do to make him pay support and if he does pay support whats to say I will be in the same situation as I am with Matthew --fighting over custody all the time. No way I cant take that. Yeah Alison is on medicaid as a secondary insurance plus I pay for her medicaid so its basically just like a normal insurance! Military families are on tricare and my tax dollars pay for your tricare so military wives bitching about me being on medicaid as a secondary is really the pot calling black wouldnt you say? I cant help the situation that she was born into yeah its less than ideal but being a money grubbing bitch and going after a man who doesnt want to have anything to do with her isnt going to make things better. Too many people dont realize how hard going through this alone is and they are so quick to pass judgement on me for being a "whore" and then not wantin to go after the father because they have it in their thick skulls that he needs to pay. Why cause more problems and heatrache for an already fragile family situation? Not every family is made up of the perfect mom and dad and 2.2 kids and the big house with the new minivan. Life is tough. Life is messy. He will one day face the punishment he deserves for not being part of his baby's life Uggh this just urks me some people need to get off their high horse and realize that life isnt always perfect....OMG!!!!!